LOSING STOMACH
"In 2021, I underwent a sleeve gastrectomy surgery when I weighed 130 kilograms. Upon careful reflection on why I had this surgery, I realized that the driving force behind it wasn't my health but rather 'loneliness.' I attributed my inability to enter into an intimate relationship or find a partner to my obesity, and I made a desperate effort to change my situation. After a three-month recovery period, I lost 100 pounds. However, I found that the impact of obesity didn't disappear from my life. The issues that lingered in my life continued to trouble me."
I am attempting an inner exploration through my creative work. Throughout the piece, there exists a presence other than myself, which can be seen as my embodiment, my inner demon, or another "disturbed" version of me.
In the first half of the work, I portray the shadow cast by obesity in my life. I attempt to materialize these "nightmares" by painting the room of my life pure white, trying to create a visual reflection of my inner self.
The middle part of the work describes the process of surgery. I feel surrounded by tainted blood, unable to breathe, with no place to hide. Simultaneously, the space belonging to my body undergoes a profound transformation.
Part 1 “RICE”
"A bowl of rice, a pair of chopsticks, a table, one person."
Part 2 “TOILET”
"What is the person on the toilet doing?"
Part 3 “50Kg of meat”
"He gained back the 50kg of weight he had lost."
Part 4 “Sleeve Gastrectomy”
"When he underwent surgery, all he saw that day were endless blood and pain."
In the latter part of the piece, I stand by the edge of the forest, facing off with my "inner demon," neither of us willing to yield. Yet, we both understand that whatever action either of us takes is destined to be in vain.
This work is an expression of my journey of self-exploration. I attempt to convey the impact of obesity on me and my contemplations on the internal struggles I face.
Part 5 “Tug of war”
“There are two people by the forest.”
LOSING STOMACH Full version
Please allow me to express my gratitude to the friends who worked tirelessly on this project:
Photography: Guo Yuwen, Li Junrui, Si Yunhao
Models: Jiefang, Chen Jibin
Music: Rao Zihao